Your bartender.

Hello hello hello!

Let’s talk alcohol.

So, are you a beer person or a cocktail person?

I’m a give-me-any-alcohol person. Yes.

Thanks to Oregon and very awesome friends, I got to taste an awesome selection of good beers and cocktails other than screwdrivers and cosmopolitans.

As far as wine goes, I used to hate it because I thought it was a fancy-people drink.  But if you were to ask my opinion now, I’d say drink it and drink more of it.  Wine is awesome and delicious.  Plus, it makes you feel fancy.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wanted to have my go-to bar and a bartender. You know, like in How I met your mother?

 

Well, I never found one.  So I just decided to work as a bartender myself.

↑Alpha Korean Gastropub, 42-24 Bell Blvd, Bayside, NY

This is a pretty chill bar, and I’m not just saying that because I work there.

It’s definitely not a dive bar but a casual place where you can enjoy good food and drinks with good friends.

They serve Korean fusion pub/bar food on top of the typical bar snacks.  But they’re pretty serious about their dinner menu, too.  If you’re looking for some hearty Korean stew, they’ve definitely got ’em here.

Um… It feels like I’m advertising…  I’m just saying, I’d come here even on my off days.  Really.

They’ve got a good selection of craft beers, which is awesome.  In fact, the manger’s actually actively trying to get rid of Coors.
Also, they have two giant screens to watch the games plus two more not-so-giant screens to watch more games.  hehe

On top of it all, you’ll have a really nice wait staff to tend however big or small your group might be.

Anyways, you get the picture, right? Hopefully?

Well, I guess my point is, I’ll be your bartender at a really chill place.

So come and find out if you’re a beer person, a cocktail person, or a wine person, OR a give-me-any-alcohol person. 😉

anger ≠ love

The moment you see the monster you’ve become,

count one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand.

Then breathe.

–

It’s time to return and set things straight.

For now,

Being a believer of “If you aren’t happy now, you won’t be happy later,” I’m always seeking for happiness.
When faced with making a decision, naturally I think of which choice would deliver most happiness.

As of late, however, this belief hasn’t been helping me solidify on a decision.

So while I’m struggling to make the “proper” choice, I met someone.

This person mentioned along the line of, “at certain point, I started to make decisions not by what makes me happy but what would leave me with least regret.”

It’s amazing how a change in perspective can twist the whole process 180 degrees.

I was completely blown away by this person’s insight.

So tonight, I’m going to try to orient my thoughts in a different angle of perspective.

But for this very moment, I think I’ll just breathe.

I am

I am stronger than I believe myself to be.
I am better than I think myself to be.
I am smarter than I present myself to be.
I am more beautiful than I see myself to be.
I am.
I am better than I reflect myself to be.

I am.

A great human being.

Dear my beloved, whoever you are.

I really should be updating my blog, or diary, more often than I do.
Not because it’s a chore but because I actually like pouring my heart out on this electric magical place.
But lately I’ve been too sad, too stressed; my mind wandered into a void where I’d forgotten what it is like to be me.
Buts and buts and buts, no more buts.
I’ll be okay.
And I’ll come back as myself.
So please wait for me a little longer my beloved, whoever you are.

Love, Hannah

have yourself a merry little christmas

I wrote an entry about my past, present and future.

But I deleted it.

haha

cheers to an emo night!

 

Why you lil caffeine.

My blog, this blog, definitely has no pattern or a specific topic of discussion as I initially intended it to have.
I wanted it to be all the sweet things in my life (mainly baking and music) but no.  I’m officially making it my diary.  It’ll be all about my random rants and crazies along with the occasional sweet perspectives.

Bitter, do I sound?

Why yes.

I am frustrated because I was lying in the bed for two hours trying to sleep.  Not once was I even close to feeling sleepy!!

I only had two, mere TWO 12-oz cups of coffee.
I love it when caffeine decides to kick in when I absolutely don’t care for it, at all.

So, here I am, sitting in the middle of my bed in complete absence of light, pounding on my wee little pink netbook keyboard, obsessing over the possible relationship between the two cups of coffee and sleep.

Maybe it’s not the undesirable relationship between coffee and sleep, maybe it’s just the simple fact that I have too much crap in my mind.

I might as well just get it out.

1.  I have a problem with phone calls.  I get slight anxiety from phone calls.  I don’t know why.  I hate talking on the phone.  I’m very awkward over the phone.  I don’t know why.  I don’t really like texting that much either.  But don’t get me wrong, I love having good conversations with people, I just don’t like it over the phone.  Oh and I hate voicemails also.  I rarely check it.  I like to use my phone only as a watch, a calendar and an alarm, but that’s about it.  My mom thinks I have phone issues–I agree.  I’m sure this goes way deeper into psychology of my childhood memories which I don’t seem to remember much of.  I want to get over it, but I just don’t know how.

2.  I stopped learning.  I thought I’d be happy once I was done with school.  But it really saddens and scares me at the same time to feel that I’m wasting my brain’s ability.  It sounds wrong to “stop” learning.  I feel like I’m getting dumber as the days pass by.  So I went to Barnes & Noble today.  Hahaha As if going to the bookstore would bring me the genius of this world.   I felt less nervous about my intelligence at least.  Bookstores always empower me in such an ambiguous way, they give me a jolt of energy to always want to pursue for more!  Don’t you ever wonder, “I’m fit to do something greater than this…”?  I always forget that it’s up to me to direct my life.  I must pursue for more.

3.  I need a closure.  I’m a creature of bad habits when it comes to relationships.  I don’t think I’ve ever had a good closure with all the relationships that ended bad.  Like a little coward, I always made up excuses to avoid having to talk to them in person (friends, mentors, aunt, cousin… etc).  Well.  Look what’s happening now.  They came to haunt me on a night that I need to sleep the most.  What should I do, contact all of them and have very very awkward phone conversations with lots of ugly pauses while having slight anxiety attacks because I hate phone conversations to begin with?  :[ Tricky situation, I’d say.

I think the pressure is somewhat gone down now that I’ve ranted about my thoughts.  Sadly, I’m still wide awake, more awake that I was 20 minutes ago. Boo caffeine, boo!

Gasping for air.

Feeling choked for two big reasons:
First,  TOO HOT.
Second,  joblessness.

I hate this feeling.
It’s an in-between feeling, you know?

Mr. Super-Optimism,
Please come and save me. I’m nearly drowning in this mess.
Sincerely,
The Pessimist

Lactaid and Blueberry Buttermlk Pancake

Blueberry Buttermilk Pancake:
1/2C Whole Wheat Flour
1/2 Tbs Organic Cane Sugar
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1/4 tsp Baking Soda
Pinch of Sea Salt
1/2 C Buttermilk
1/4 C Milk
1 Egg
Lots and lots and lots and LOTTTSSSSS of blueberries.

The exact ingredients that went into making my Friday brunch at home.
Fried to perfection in a pond of butter, these mini pancake babies were rather perfect I must say!
It was super light and fluffy and sweet with a little bit of honey drizzled all over it.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ever since my body became a little sensitive to dairy products I had to substitute them out with non-dairy things… like soymilk. And I’m usually fine with it, I’m not a huge dairy cheesy loving creature anyway.
But there are days, where I just crave dairy products.
I mean like, CRAVE crave.
I’d want a slice of three-cheese pizza with more cheese sprinkled on it; I’d want a strawberry milkshake with a three inch whipped cream; or I just want to gulp down a one giant glass of whole milk!
The funny part is that I used to hate cheese pizza (it always had to have a topping), didn’t care much for milkshakes and the whipped cream, and my mom had to beg me to drink a sip of milk.
But no.
Now I just love them. oOo just thought of a cheesy dish of mac and cheese, yummmmmm
Thankfully we live in the science era!
Where geeky (but cool) scientists made a pill packed full of lactase enzymes to break down the good ol’ lactose!
It’s kinda magical.
So yes, long story short, when I do indulge in dairy products I tend to go all out.
I mean did you see the ingredients?? Buttermilk, milk, and butter?! Oh gosh I loved every single bite of those lil pancakes.
For some reason though, the lactaid doesn’t quite work well with just a cold cup of milk. So I’ve been avoiding it for a while now, but I think I might try one of those lactose-free milk thingies sometime…

My friend, Lactaid. :DDD

gibberish

매번마다 느끼는 거지만, 한글로 글을쓴다는건… 참… 어렵다.

하지만 영어 에세이로부터의 탈출은 한글로 하는게 가장 어울리지 않을까?

요샌 늘 마음이 복잡하다-

졸업반이라 그런가?

1프로의 거짓하나 보탬없이, 정말 하루하루가 일초일초처럼 지나가는 나의 4학년, 대학교에서의 마지막 생활은 너무나도 즐겁지만서도-

나에게는 큰 무리인듯 싶다.

여름에 내 자신에게 약속했듯, “후회없이 즐겁게 열심히 열정적이게 살자-”

그대로 실천해 옮기는 내 자신이 대견스러우면서도 한편은 ” 어떻게 이렇게 무식하게 무대포인가” 라는 생각은 무시할수가 없는거다.

학업공부가 가장 중요해야할 시점에, 졸업이 가장 우선이여야 할 이때에, 미래계획에 앞서나가야 할 지금 이순간에,

난 진정 무엇을 하고 있는것인가가 걱정스럽다…

그렇다고해서 아르바이트나 클럽활동을 시작했다는점에 후회는 전혀 없다.

이 일들로 인해 내가 더 낳은 사람으로 성장했으면 성장했지 후퇴했다는 생각은 전혀 없기 때문.

다만 내 자신에 실망하는 점이 있다면 지금 나의 생활관리를 제대로 못하고 있다는 점.

시간을 좀더 효율적으로 쓸수있다면, 난 지금… 아마… 스트레스 프리, 천국같은 삶을 살고있지 않을까?ㅋ

하루가 48시간이였으면 좋겠다,

숙제도 제대로 하고싶고, 일도 더 열정적으로 하고싶고, 클럽활동에도 시간을 더 투자하고 싶고, 친구들과 조금이라도 더 만나고 싶고, 요리도 하고싶고, 운동도 하고싶고, 책도 읽고싶고, 편지도 쓰고싶고, 쇼핑도 하고싶고, 가족과 전화통화를 1분이라도 더 하고싶고, 남자친구와도 놀러도 가고싶고-

아직도 하고싶은게 너무나도 많은데…

시간은 너무나도 빨리 지나가는듯 싶다.

하루가 일초? 아니다, 일주가 일초처럼 지나가는 시간이 원망스럽기만하다. ㅜ.,ㅠ

벌써 9주째 화요일이다…

아직까지도 뭘, 어떻게, 언제, 무슨 순서로 해야될지 고민만 앞서고,

하고싶은 일들과 해야할 일들로 가득찬 오늘밤에, 휴, 난 또 고민속에 빠져든다.