i need-

November 18, 2009 § Leave a comment

a better time management skill.

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Different you and i.

November 17, 2009 § Leave a comment

it’s just a difference.
it’s not that i’m wrong or you’re right,
we’re just two different people.
i shall not measure you.
i should not judge you.
because you know you the best.
i’m sorry for the one-second-doubt i had in you.
i support you
i respect you
i’m here for you my friend.

happy me to you to us.

November 16, 2009 § Leave a comment

Often times we try too hard to satisfy ourselves, family, friends, lovers, society … essentially everything.
We try too hard to be happy, we try too hard to be accepted, we try too hard to be loved, we try and try and try.
Then we cry and cry and cry at our failures, at our shortcomings, at our limits, at our capabilities…
We try to forget that we’re human, we try to ignore the fact that we can’t ever be perfect, ever…
So we play god, we plan, we follow, we master-
But we fall short, cry again, bitter, angry, sad and lonely–not happy.

I wanted to be happy so bad, I tried SO hard to achieve it, I ran towards it. I ran, ran and ran.
But what I realized was that I was actually running AWAY from the happiness, not towards it.

So.

I stopped–running.  I stopped everything.  I stopped trying.  I stopped–completely.

Then.

I started–seeing, accepting, embracing where I was, who I was, what I was–what I am.

I found comfort and peace within myself probably for the first time.

I am not perfect.  I can’t be perfect.  I am different from everyone else as everyone else is different from everyone else.  I am me.  I am here.  I am.

No more trying.  No more faking.  No more avoiding.  No more lying-to-self.

So.

I’m here now, without regrets, happy as I have ever been in my life with who I am, and what I am–confident in this very body of mine.

I will take life as it comes now.

My life–I can’t foresee the future, but no fear in that because I will live just fine.

My family–I will love them with all my heart, but not live for them.

My friends–I will be their ears and eyes, I will be be their second hearts, I will absorb their happiness and sorrow.

My boyfriend–I will love him with all my heart, no games, no regrets, but with honesty and faith.

My self–I will stand in confidence.  I will adore, accept, and embrace myself.  It’s not the “will” but the “am.”  I am.

So here’s my cheers to happy me, you, and us.

Where Am I?

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